


An avalanche of hopes and dreams.

by Biekewieke



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Confessions, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Hoth, Humor, caught in a blizzard, in search of an artifact, soulsearching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 18:04:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17126162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Biekewieke/pseuds/Biekewieke
Summary: Rey sets off to find an ancient artifact, that might help the Resistance obtain victory and peace.But when Rey gets lost in a blizzard, and finds that Kylo Ren is once again right on her tracks, she rushes off into a cave.They end up caught inside, and need to find a way not to kill each other long enough to survive their current situation.Will they be able to pull it off?





	An avalanche of hopes and dreams.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MizuPhoenix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MizuPhoenix/gifts).



> This work is gifted to MizuPhoenix, inspired by one of her wonderful prompts!  
> I chose to go with this one: 
> 
> Prompt Two: Rey and Ben(Kylo) Find themselves trapped during a blizzard and have to survive together.
> 
> So I put our lovebirds on Hoth, a place that holds many memories for some involved. And I had them trapped during a blizzard for a few days. 
> 
> I hope this story turns out the way MizuPhoenix had hoped and that it may be received by love and excitement.  
> I had fun writing it and I hope it shows. 
> 
> I would love to thank all the wonderful, crazy-talented ladies in our writer's chatgroup, for their unwavering support and encouragement.  
> i would never have been able to make it without them and our late-night (or lunch depending on the time-difference) sprints!  
> You keep me alive ladies! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!  
> B

How in the world had she gotten into this mess again?

Last time she checked, she hadn’t signed up for a mission on a freaking freezing planet!  
She had grown up in a desert climate, for Maker’s sake! How in the galaxy she had gotten stuck with a wonky assignment on the icy planet of Hoth, she had no idea…

But here she was, dressed in four hundred layers of thick downy fur and she was still freezing.  
According to the current leadership of the Resistance – consisting mainly of Leia, Poe, Kaydel and O’Hare – She was here on a very important mission. She was to retrieve some sort of ancient artifact from the days of the Rebellion against the Empire. Something that must have been old back in those days, let alone a thirty something years later. Rey had started out with great gusto, until she had learned that Hoth was an ice planet…

Yeah, that took the fun right out of it…

But even her worst nightmares hadn’t been able to prepare her for this kind of cold.  
Everything was white. The sky was white, the ground was white, even those damned taun-tauns were mostly white.

So in her disgruntled state, she had decided to head out as soon as possible and hadn’t waited for her partner to follow. Which led to her being lost. And to make matters worse, she had lost contact with both her partner AND the base. She had a binary beacon, but that was useless at the moment, since nobody but her was stupid enough to go out in the middle of a blizzard. Unlike her…

She stopped for a moment and sighed deeply. She needed to find a place to rest and make camp. She needed to collect her thoughts. She was close to a crop of mountains. Perhaps there would be a cave of sorts? She reached out with the Force, trying to get hold of that tiny grasp of peace and serenity and came up with nothing except the confirmation that there was indeed a refuge between those rocks.

Rey nudged the taun-taun towards the jagged peaks when a sensation caught hold of her.  
It started soft, just the barest of tremors in her stomach. Just the slightest of flutters in her chest. A faint pricking in the back of her neck.  
Then it grew stronger. More pronounced. It caused goosebumps to rise on her skin and her breath to catch.

She knew what it meant.

_He was here…_

Kylo Ren was here. Closing in on her.

She sighed in annoyance. He seemed to be following her everywhere. They were unable to stay in one spot long enough to actually create some sort of permanent base because he always showed up. For the umpteenth time she cursed their connection and immediately felt her heart rebel against the very notion. She cursed at her own indecisiveness.

When the feelings intensified to something she could hardly bare, she looked up towards the sky. And sure enough, there was a familiar black shuttle closing in. Despite the snow coming down in flurries, it was obvious.

She frowned.

He would find her, of that she was absolutely sure. Not a single doubt in her mind. But as much as she was in the mood for a fight, she had to keep her wits about her. She needed to get her priorities straight. And shelter from the snow storm was definitely a priority. She glanced up at the mountains again. Straightening her shoulders, she dug her heels in the taun-taun’s flank and made it pick up its pace.

She got lucky after ten minutes.

Before her was a small crevice that was large enough for her and the taun-taun to pass. It led down into the mountain, a small cave lay behind a winding path between steep walls. It wasn’t much, but it was big enough to move around comfortably. It seemed man-made, or at least adapted by man. There was a fire pit. A low bench along the far wall that served as a bed. It was still close enough to the fire pit to enjoy the heat from a fire when lit, but far enough to be safe from said fire. Room for the taun-taun at the other end. There was even a section that was clearly used as a privy once. It provided enough privacy thanks to a wall of stacked rocks. It also managed to contain most unpleasant scents…

Rey looked around and sighed with both relief and resignation. Her home for however long.  
She needed to think of ways to warn the others of her whereabouts. She only had enough provisions to last her a week. After that, she would get in trouble.

The pulling sensation in her chest intensified again.  
He was close.  
When her heart beat accelerated and her breathing grew shallow, she just knew there was no escape.  
He was here.

She turned and grabbed her lightsaber, thumbing it to life. The bright blue plasma beam lit up the entire cave and it only took less than thirty seconds before his telltale red glow shone along the walls of the path she’d walked mere minutes ago.

And then he stood before her.

Time seemed to slow down to a crawl. Her traitorous body responded against her will.  
Her heart skipped a beat, only to resume it cadence with a faster pace. Goosebumps rose on her arms, despite the many layers she was wearing. Her mouth went dry at the sight of him and a soft sigh escaped her lips.

She had come close to facing him several times before. Every time he had been near, they had managed to stage an escape. Now, she was stuck in a cave on an ice planet with nowhere to go…  
And here he stood before her, not fifteen feet away, looking larger than life…

And he looked awful.

He had obviously lost weight, his pale complexion was downright pasty, his hair – his glorious hair! – was a mess underneath a black woolen cap. His eyes were bleak, dark smudges beneath them as if he hadn’t slept in days.

His lips, those luscious lips of his, had not changed much, although the cold had clearly made an impact. They were bright red and cracked at the corners, dried blood crusting them.  
But they were parted in what seemed like wonder, the look in his eyes nothing short of happy disbelief.

“Rey.”

The sound of his voice made a shiver travel down her spine. It was nothing but a whisper, but it was filled with such a sense of awe that it made her frown.

“Kylo Ren.” She countered. Her voice sounded harsh and ridiculously loud as it bounced off the walls. He flinched a little, but other than that did not move. Rey lifted her lightsaber and took on a combat stance.

“If it is a fight you’ve come for, then I will be happy to oblige,” she snarled.

Some of the light went out of his eyes, his gaze became hooded and unreadable.

“And what makes you think I came here to fight you?”

She lifted a single brow.

“You follow me wherever I go and then arrive with your lightsaber activated? Probably that.”

The corners of his lips quirked ever so slightly, but she had seen it. _Was that a smile?_

He thumbed off his lightsaber and put it back on his belt.

It made her frown even more. She gripped her own lightsaber tightly and took a deep breath.

“We need to talk.”

He pursed his lips and their Bond swirled around them, wrapping her in its comfortable warmth once more. Everything he felt, she felt. And right now, he was nervous, which made her nervous in turn.

Outside the cave, the wind was howling and the snow was coming down hard and fast.

“I believe we are talking.” She quipped smartly.

He rolled his eyes, and in that instant Rey recognized both his parents in him. Han’s belligerence and Leia’s exasperation combined in that one expression on his face. She was wise enough to keep silent about that little tidbit.

“You know damn well what I mean.” He quipped as he took off his woolen cap.

“If you say so.” She spoke the words with a sense of negligence.

She gripped her lightsaber and widened her stance slightly. Ready for battle.  
To see him standing there inside that cave, only mere feet away… close enough to touch if she wanted to… was overwhelming. So she did what she always did. She prepared for the worst.

He tilted his head and regarded her with a shuttered look. She could feel him reaching out to her, trying to sense her. He was very skilled, and he had done just that before she had the notion of blocking him.

“You still want to kill me.” He said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. He frowned slightly and there was a wounded look about him.  
“Even after everything we’ve been through, you still want to kill me.” He pursed his lips again in that fashion that always got to her.

Her eyes flashed in annoyance.

“Because of everything we’ve been through!” she spat. “You tried to kill my friends. Your mother! You tried to kill your own mother! And me! What did you expect?”

Her shouting reverberated off the walls of the small cave, bouncing back into her own ears with a revolting urgency.

He lowered his head, staring at his boots. She marveled at the sight of his glorious hair falling over his forehead in a glossy mess, covering his eyes.

“I didn’t know you were on the Falcon.” He mumbled under his breath.

“As if that makes a difference! You tried to kill the people I love! How did you think that would go down? That I would think nothing of it? That I wouldn’t care?” She sounded exasperated and angry and all the things he had expected her to be. But her next words made his head snap up.

“I thought you had moved on, that I knew you at least to a certain extent, but you turned out to be exactly what I accused you of being! A monster! Someone who cares about nothing or no one!”

His gaze bore into hers and despite her best intentions, those dark eyes tormented her. His face was too soft. His every emotion was on display in that beautiful mixture of his father’s features with his mother’s coloring. And she felt her heart give a little squeeze. She swallowed past the sudden lump in her throat and narrowed her eyes at him.

He pressed his lips together and stared at her for the longest time. When he opened his mouth to speak, a shudder racked through the cave. A loud rumble, almost deafening sounded about them.

Several rocks trembled on the floor, debris started falling around them lightly. Rey looked up at the ceiling, mild panic on her face. Ben ran over to her and pulled her to the ground, covering her body with his own, protecting her from the falling rocks. The cave was filled with dust when the shuddering subsided.

Rey was fazed. He had pushed her to the ground and had wrapped himself around her, shielding her from falling rocks and dust. She hadn’t expected that. Nor had she anticipated what that did to her.

She felt safe and protected. The way he was holding her, the way he was curled around her made her feel cherished. She trembled at the touch of his hand at her hip, at the featherlight caress of his breath against her cheek, at the pleasantness of his weight on her.

It was confusing and infuriating and - in all honesty - very welcome.

He lifted himself on his elbows and touched her cheek, mild panic visible in those dark eyes.

“Are you alright?” He asked almost frantically and she could feel him use the Force to check on her for injuries.

“I am, thank you. Now get off!” She snipped, shoving at his chest with all her might. It was like shoving at a brick wall: pointless. He didn’t budge at all.

He frowned and she could see the hurt reflected in that somber gaze.  
He nodded curtly and got off. He reached out his hand to help her up and she stared at it pointedly before getting up without his help.

The hurt in his eyes multiplied and she felt a small pinch of guilt run through her at her intentional spiteful behavior.

“Why are you here?”

He lowered his gaze and turned away a little. His hair fell into his eyes, and she dug her nails into her palms at the instinctive desire to brush it away.

“I believe my reasons no longer matter. I already know all I need.” He said softly. He turned further and started to walk away.  
That made her anger spike again.

“So you follow me across a galaxy, claiming to want to talk to me and now that you have the opportunity, you leave? To what purpose is that?”

She was following him down the path through the crevice as she spoke. When he stopped abruptly, she plowed into his back, the impact knocking the breath out of her. A huge sigh sounded and he turned a little towards her.  
“It seems that indeed I do have the opportunity to continue that conversation. The only way in or out this cave is blocked. We seem to be caught in an avalanche.”

“What!?” she exclaimed with panic in her voice. She stared at the wall of ice that had appeared where one could see the white snowy skies before.

“No!” she shouted and lifted her hand in an attempt to use the Force to blast the snow away.

“No, Rey, stop!”

He jumped and blocked her, taking the blow. The substantial force behind it knocked him to the ground. He grunted and let out a low moan, sounding very much in pain.

Rey gasped and rushed to his side despite her earlier misgivings.

“Ben?” she asked, kneeling beside him. “What in the galaxy did you do that for?”

He moaned again and sucked in a deep breath before answering her in between gasps and grunts.

“If you had done that… you would have made it worse.” He pushed his hand against his midriff, baring his teeth as he hissed loudly. “The snow would have doubled at least, and then we would never be able to get out of here.”

She quickly checked for injuries and found a fair amount.  He would need bacta and rest, but there was nothing life-threatening.

“Can you stand?” she asked brusquely.

“Of course I can stand! I took a silly blow, not crippled.”

He muttered an expletive under his breath and turned on his side, trying to get on his knees. He managed. Sort of.  
Rey helped him up and supported him as they made their way back to the main area of the cave.  
When they got back, Rey got him to sit down on the bench.

“Stay here. I’ll try to find a way to light a fire to keep us warm.” She said crisply, sounding like his mother. The thought made his lips twitch.

“There’s a pile of wood and kindling in the far left corner.” He said under his breath, hissing as he made a wrong move and a stab of pain sliced through him.

She stopped and stared at him pointedly.

He lifted a shoulder. “I noticed.”

“Right.” She muttered and turned her back to him as she went off to retrieve a few wooden blocks and some kindling.  
She got the fire going quickly and it didn’t take long for the cave to heat up to a comfortable warmth.  
As soon as she was sure the fire wouldn’t be at risk of dying out soon, Rey turned back to him.

Kylo Ren.

_Ben._

Somehow, she still thought of him as Ben. She had never fully reverted to calling him Kylo Ren.

“Take off your tunic.” She said coldly, as businesslike as she could manage.

He lifted his eyebrow and a strange glow shone in his eyes.

“Last time I did that, you told me to cover up…” His voice trailed off and the suggestive sound of it made her frown.

She gave him a menacing look.

“Either you take that tunic off so I can apply the bacta, or you stay the way you are and suffer. The choice is yours.”

They stared at each other for a few moments, Ben’s eyes unreadable. He sighed and started to loosen his tunic. When he showed signs of having difficulty with removing it, Rey instinctively came to his aid.

When the tunic came off and she was faced with his bare chest again, she swallowed. The sight was different now. Large dark bruises were starting to form, dark angry welts on his ribs, indicating possible fractures, a few patches of raw skin tears. She tried to turn off her wayward mind and focus on the task at hand, but she was constantly distracted. So she took a deep breath and adapted a disconnected air.

“Looks painful.” She muttered as she took out her medical supplies.

He chuckled, the sound foreign and for some reason incredibly intimate.

“I’ve had far worse.”

“Oh? Like what?” she asked cautiously.

Again, he chuckled and the sound did something to her insides. It warmed something inside her that hadn’t been warm for what felt like ages.

“Like what you did to me on Starkiller?” He said with a hint of humor lacing his tone.

She looked up abruptly, her gaze clashing with his. She was sitting far closer to him than she had realized, being able to see his face and the scar she had given him. She swallowed hard and clamped her jaw.

Ben seemed to understand it was a subject they shouldn’t breach.

“Or any punishment Snoke saw fit too, for that matter.” He said with a lift of his shoulder. “This is a piece of cake.”

She lowered her gaze back to his ribs and quietly spoke.

“Then this shouldn’t hurt either.” She ripped open a packet of bacta and dumped it on one of the deeper gashes on his stomach. He hissed briefly but held completely still.  
She applied some sort of ointment to his bruises and Ben closed his eyes. He squeezed them shut so hard it made him see stars. But the mere sensation of her work-roughened hands on his skin…

She started to bind his ribs with a length of bandage, working meticulously. When she was done, she looked up into his face.

“There, all done.” She started, but her voice died down.

There was such an intensity in his eyes, that it made her heart skip a beat.

“Thank you.” He whispered. It sounded loud in the silence.

She found herself staring at his lips as he said the words and she realized she had never heard him say that before. She inclined her head and moved away quickly. He seemed so different now. So very different…

“Did he punish you a lot?” she asked casually as she put her medical supplies away.

Ben snorted.

“Whenever he felt I deserved it.”

She looked at him and he was staring blankly into the air, seeing things only he could see.  
Well… She could tap into his mind if she wanted to. But she considered it a violation of his privacy, even if he did not return such a favor.

“That doesn’t answer my question.” She snipped.

His eyes met hers and they were unreadable again.

“Often enough. So yes, I guess.” His voice was flat. He moved to put on his tunic again. Rey had to tear her eyes away. She could be honest with herself. She had always been attracted to him. Ever since he had taken off his helmet for her and she had caught sight of that angular face, those dark eyes and luscious lips. That hair…  
To see him bare-chested again, to be able to touch his skin and feel the warmth of his body… It did things to her no one ever had been able to do.

She realized the irony with a startling frankness. Being attracted to the one thing she had decided to loath forever… She puttered around her meager belongings, trying to busy herself while he made himself presentable again.

“You seem to be underdressed for this planet.” She said when he was done.

“I’m used to the cold. I spend most of my time in space. I’ve been here often enough.”

“You’ve been here before?”

His eyes met hers and she caught sight of something in that onyx gaze.

“Let’s just say that Han and Leia had their reasons for coming here. I was dragged here a few times as a kid.”

Her mouth formed a perfect O as her eyebrows rose.

Silence descended over them after that. They kept their thoughts to themselves for about fifteen minutes before Rey started talking again.

“So…” she started hesitantly. “Where do we take it from here?”

Ben didn’t even look up from where he sat by the fire.

“We wait.”

“We wait?” she said.

“Yes we wait.” He spoke smoothly. “It won’t be long before your rebel friends realize you’re gone. They will come looking for you soon.”

“And you are sure?”

His gaze bore into hers.

“Aren’t you?” His eyebrow lifted in question. It made her lift her chin.

“Of course I am.” She said haughtily. “But they might not be prepared to break through the avalanche.”

They lapsed into strained silence after that. Not a word was said, not a single thought exchanged. They just sat on opposite sides of the fire, staring into the flames and lost in their own minds.

Rey broke the silence after what must have been an hour. She got up and took a blanket from her backpack, and as she wrapped it around her, sat back down. She stared directly into his eyes, that dark gaze of his following her every movement unabashedly.

“Why do you follow me around the galaxy?” she asked, her voice gruff and hoarse, as if she had swallowed fistfuls of Jakku desert sand. “Are you so hellbent on getting your precious revenge that you would follow me everywhere, even if it might lead to suffering, and chaos within your own ranks?”

He watched her with an aloof look in his eyes. Ben took his sweet time answering, calculating all the possible reactions she might have to the possible way he would tell her.

“Is that what you think I’m doing?” he asked softly. “Getting my revenge?”

“Isn’t it?” She asked with that frown he knew so well. The one that made her forehead wrinkle, the corners of her eyes crinkle and the corners of her mouth draw down with the slightest baring of teeth. It almost made him smile. Almost.

“Despite what you obviously believe, no.” he said levelly.

He saw a spark of something, a flicker of an emotion that might work to his advantage.  
_Curiosity.  
_He continued in the same tone, fearful to scare her off at such a delicate moment.

“I’m not after revenge. I haven’t been for a long time.”

“Then why chase me down?”

He made a sound then, something that combined a strange laugh, a scraggly croak and a groan of frustration. It had been the closest he’d been to laughing in over a decade.

“Because you refuse to talk to me, by chance?” He said, with twinkling eyes full of mischief and merit. “If you didn’t close off our Bond so dramatically, you might have avoided a lot of trouble.”

Her eyes flashed in anger. She stood, the blanket dropping from her shoulders.

“Oh no, don’t you pin this on me, Ben Solo!” she shouted as she pointed her finger at him over the fire. “You know quite well why I refuse to talk to you!”

Ben stood slowly. He towered over her, his eyes reflecting the flames of the fire. They mesmerized her, their intensity almost scorching as the heat between them. His mouth drooped slightly as he stared at her face. Sorrow marred his features.

“I know.”

A sensation flooded her at those words. She didn’t understand why, but she felt there was more to his words than they appeared. Like a strange warped memory of sorts.

“I was only trying to clarify. I did not mean to offend you, Rey.” He said quietly. “Please, sit down.”

She watched in fascination as several emotions flitted across his face in fast succession.  
This man was an enigma.  
He was powerful and angry and vicious one minute, and soft, gentle and caring in the next.  
He was a walking contradiction and she couldn’t help but wonder at this great chasm in his character.

She stood there on the other side of the fire, staring up into his face. Her teeth were bared, her breathing rapid and her pulse so fast it felt as if her heart would either burst or stop altogether.

He looked at her then, as he had in the Throne Room, desperation shining in those dark eyes and also a smudge of pride. As if he realized she would most likely refuse him again. But he said the word again anyway.

“Please.”

Rey swallowed and pressed her lips together. She made a small movement with her chin, indicating that she’d heard him. She let her breath escape through her nose in a huff and sat down again.

Ben sighed with relief and sat down too. He stared at his hands and another silence descended upon them. This one far less comfortable than the last one. He broke it, his voice coarse and barely audible above the howling wind.

“So much has happened.” He said softly. “I don’t know where to begin.”

He frowned and still wouldn’t look at her. It gave her a chance to study him more. He really looked like death warmed over.  
He grinned suddenly, almost subconsciously, and it made her heart leap in her chest. It transformed his entire face.

“Ironic, isn’t it? That we only seem to be able to speak honestly of our feelings in front of a fire?”  
He still wasn’t looking at her, but she could sense his nostalgia. His memory of that night on Ahch-To.

“You haven’t said much yet.”

Her voice was harsh and her tone curt. And she watched as her words seemed to hit him in the face for he flinched as if she had really pulled a punch. He frowned and sighed.

“I …” he started, only to halt and make a helpless gesture with his hand.

A brief, scandalous, very inappropriate vision entered her mind at the sight of that beautiful, large, ungloved hand. She blushed and ducked her head, hoping he hadn’t noticed.

“I thought you were still on Snoke’s escape pod.” He blurted out. He rushed on, afraid she would interrupt him and stop him from saying what he needed to say. What he should have been able to say a long time ago.

“And I felt angry and hurt and just so…” he breathed harshly, looking for the right word to describe the emotion, “betrayed. Not even Luke’s attempt at murder came close to what I felt when I woke up and you were gone. Back to those wretched rebel friends of yours. I have always felt inadequate and insubstantial and unimportant to anyone I had ever cared about, and you… just made it worse! All I wanted was to get even, to get back at those people you obviously cared for more than you did for me.” The bitterness crept into his voice, tainting his mouth with its foul taste once more.  
“When I arrived on Crait, I didn’t stop to think once. I just wanted to obliterate them.”

He fell silent and swallowed hard. His jaw was clenched, the tiny muscle there twitching as if it were trying to hit lightspeed. He frowned and thought of his next words for a moment or two.

“After facing Luke, I…” He pursed his lips, unsure once more. “I went into the mine. I walked into that control room and found Han’s dice on the floor. I picked them up and they disappeared. And I realized…” His voice caught, and he was unable to continue. When he did, his voice was rough and strained.

“I realized what I had done. What I had almost done. How I hadn’t thought about the consequences of my actions. I realized that by killing Snoke, I had usurped his position. And although I had acted on selfish motivations, I understood the responsibilities that were suddenly placed on my shoulders. By holding those dice, I remembered that moment where I took my father’s life. How it made me feel. I will never forget it. It is my personal Hell for the rest of my life.”

He looked at her then and she was surprised to see tears shining in his eyes. A single tear chose that moment to slowly slide down his cheek and she was surprised at her own desire to brush it away and cup his cheek. She dug her nails into her palms to keep herself from reaching out.  
Ben continued softly.

“When I saw you then, standing there…” His voice died softly, and he was unable to hold her gaze. He turned his face away, shame and guilt obviously weighing him down, the misery he was feeling seeping through their Bond.

“I can’t even explain what I felt when I saw you standing there, looking down on me with such anger, such disappointment in your eyes. Such finality… But there was also such great relief in knowing that our Bond hadn’t been severed. I was so, so very glad…”

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, visibly drew in a fortifying breath and turned to face her once more. With all the courage he could muster, he spoke his piece.

“I just want you to know that I am sorry. For everything. For not thinking. For making all the wrong decisions. For disappointing you most of all. You were the first person to believe in me, to see the good and light in me in a great long while. You risked everything in reaching out to me, and I let you down. And I have spent every day since trying to be a better man because of it. I’m sorry. That’s all I wanted to say to you. What I needed to say to you. What I had hoped to say to you under less dire circumstances and with less flair for drama.”

 

Rey was stunned into silence.  
Whatever she had wanted to say, whatever spiteful words she had wanted to throw in his face, evaporated into thin air.

She sat there, across from him, looking at him as if she’d never seen him before. His gaunt appearance and the sense of absolute weariness made complete sense now. It also explained why she had felt him reaching out so often, why he kept following them – her! – around the galaxy.  
He wasn’t after revenge as she’d imagined. He was after closure.

He chuckled then, a strange and rusty sound, making it clear that he hadn’t laughed or chuckled in a good long while.

“This would have been my cue to leave, had our conditions been somewhat different. As it is, I am sorry that I couldn’t keep quiet much longer, and that I made an awkward situation even more uncomfortable.”

“It’s alright. Most people become more open in the face of confinement or dangerous situations.” She heard herself say. She had answered almost subconsciously, not thinking about it one way or another. His confession had been astonishing, and far more sincere than she would have ever believed before seeing it with her own eyes.

She looked up and saw high color on his cheeks. He was embarrassed. And for some reason, it made her want to comfort him.

“We all have things in our past we’re not proud of.” She said softly as she lifted a shoulder.

“Yes, we all do. But not all of us blurt them out at the first opportunity. Especially not in circumstances such as ours. Things like that only complicate things even further.” He said as he stood.

He walked over to where he’d taken off his cape and tunic earlier. She hadn’t noticed the backpack he’d been carrying. He picked it up and took it over to the slab that served as a bed, and started rummaging around in it. She saw how he extracted a chrono.

“Just as I thought.” He murmured. He proceeded to take a ration bar from the backpack and also took out a thin blanket.

“What time is it?” she asked gently, still reeling from everything he’d said.

“Past sundown. Something that comes entirely too fast on this forsaken planet.” She detected some bitterness lacing his tone, but said nothing of it.

“I think I should eat and go to sleep. It‘s not exactly been such a great day for me.” His voice was drenched with fatigue. “Besides, if your rebel friends have any common sense, they’ll keep from looking for you until dawn.”

Rey thought of that for a moment. Poe would be worried, Finn would be frantic. Leia would…

“Leia!” she exclaimed, making Ben flinch and look at her with an odd mixture of hope and fear.

“Excuse me?” He asked hesitantly.

“Your mother is Force sensitive, no?”

Ben frowned, deep creases lining his forehead.

 

“Yes, she is. But I don’t see how that’s…” and then clarity seemed to hit him over the head. His eyes instantly narrowed.

“No.” He said decisively.

“What do you mean, no?”

“I mean, I won’t do it.”

“Are you seriously going to stand there and claim that you would rather risk dying of cold or famine than reaching out to your mother through the Force?” she asked incredulously.

He pursed his lips and she could sense his indecision.  
“That is exactly what I’m claiming.” He said and turned his back on her.

“Ben, this is serious!” she started to say, when he interrupted her.

“Do you think I don’t know that?” he all but shouted. “I just told you a part of what keeps me awake at night, something that took a huge effort on my part, and now you want me to face my mother?”

She looked at him and recognized that look in his eyes. She’d lived that look for years.  
_The fear of rejection and abandonment.  
_He was afraid his mother would turn him away and leave him – again.

“Ben.” She whispered and felt through their Bond how it affected him to hear her say his name like that, “don’t be afraid. Your mother would never turn you away.” She took a few steps in his direction. “She’ll probably box those big ears of yours, and you’ll have deserved every inch of it, but she’ll still welcome you home.”

She watched as the look in his eyes turned into skepticism.

“Forgive me if I have trouble believing that.” He all but snarled. She smiled, a dare evident in her hazel gaze.

“Only one way to find out…” she said with a grin. “Besides…” she said as she turned away again, “I never said you were the one who needed to reach out. I just implied she might be able to pick up on us if we tried.”

She sat down in her spot by the fire again and crossed her legs. He watched in fascination as she took her meditation stance. Could do nothing but stare at her with admiration as it took her no time at all to find that beautiful peace that had eluded him for so long.

He took a deep breath and realized he needed to help any way he could. He couldn’t help but feel partially responsible for their current situation. He sat down and mimicked her movements, and shamelessly tapped into her emotions so he could find that same peace.

Once their minds were both calm, Rey reached out to Leia, trying to envision the General and find her Force signature. It took a few minutes, but the response came.

“Rey? Is that you?”

“Yes, Leia, it’s me! I just wanted to let you know I’m alright!”

“Are you okay? Are you hurt? Where are you?”

The words came fast and to the point, both of them fearful that their connection might break at any given time. Ben sensed this and tried to strengthen it with his own Force signature. Of course Leia noticed.

“You’re not alone.” She said, the warning in her voice clear as day.

“No, but it’s a long story and I’ll tell you all about it later. I just wanted to let you know that I’m alright and not hurt. We’re in a cave near an outcropping of mountains, and there was an avalanche, but if you sent out a search party, you should be able to use the binary beacon.”

“I’ll send out a search party as soon as I can, but this blizzard is fiercer than we anticipated. It might take several days. Just hold on and stay strong. We’ll find a way to keep in touch.”

The connection fizzed out, and it wasn’t until Rey opened her eyes that she realized why it had worked so brilliantly.

“You’ve done this before.” She said wistfully as she looked up at the troubled face of the man before her.

Last of the Skywalkers, the Fallen Padawan, the Heir Apparent to Lord Vader, Supreme Leader of the Extended Galaxy.  
Kylo Ren.  
He was all those things, and yet in the end, it mattered not.

In the end, he was Ben Solo.

A man who was as lost and confused as she was. Only she knew how to hide it much better than he did. Looking at him now, she understood why he had felt the need for his mask when they had met. He needed it to conceal his heart, for it shone clearly in his face. And combined with what she experienced through their Bond, she knew this had been difficult for him.

“I managed to talk to Leia because of you.”

He didn’t even look up.

“Yes.”

She narrowed her eyes and studied him for a few moments.

“How long has it been since you talked to your mother?”

He pursed his lips in that endearing way of his, the one that showed his insecurities. It almost made her smile, even as she worried he would not talk to her anymore.

“Since the attack on the Raddus.”

_When I couldn’t kill her._

The thought hung loudly in the air, almost as if it had been spoken out loud.  
A thousand thoughts crashed through Rey’s mind. A thousand things she wanted to tell him. And yet she kept her peace. She merely nodded and muttered something about getting down to sleep.  
Ben said nothing either. In complete silence, they made their bedrolls on either side of the fire and lay down.

As she drifted off slowly, she heard Ben’s deep voice whisper ‘Goodnight’.  
She murmured a similar wish and was then swallowed by the peaceful darkness of slumber.

It was the middle of the night when she woke again. The fire had burnt out, and the cold was curling itself around her.

Her body wasn’t accustomed to this climate, and she loathed every single tiny shiver that wracked through her system. She wrapped her blanket around her closer in an attempt to keep warm, but it didn’t work. When her teeth started chattering, she heard the familiar rustle of clothing.

“You might very possibly end up killing me for even suggesting this, but nothing is more efficient during a blizzard than body heat.”

She lifted herself on her lower arm and glanced over at him. She could barely make out his shape without the light from the fire.

“I might, if I knew what it was you are suggesting.”

She heard Ben sigh deeply and then his words, combined with that delicious deep voice made her body shiver for entirely different reasons.

“I’m suggesting we share our bedrolls and our body heat.”

“You’re right.” She deadpanned. “I might very well end up killing you for suggesting it.”

She took a moment to mull it over. She had no idea how to handle this climate. He hadn’t called her a desert rat without good reason. She was used to the desert heat! Not this frigid cold!

“Loathsome as I find it, I would like very much to see another day.” She said with a fair amount of resignation injected into her voice.

She got up and took her blanket and crossed the small clearing over to where he lay on the floor. He had some type of insulating mat underneath him and he quickly made room for her.

“But just for the record,” she started with a clear warning in her voice, “if you so much as breathe on me in a way I dislike, I will run my lightsaber through you. Do you understand?”

Ben smiled grimly into the darkness. She disliked everything about him.

“You won’t benefit from my body heat if I’m a corpse.” He said rationally.

She huffed at his words, but got down and laid next to him on the mat. She covered them both with his blanket, then threw hers over for good measure. She stayed on the very edge, careful to stay away from him as much as she could when he did something unexpected.

He grabbed her waist and pulled her closer. Before she knew what was happening, she found herself spooning with her mortal enemy.

She was pulled tightly against his chest, his strong, thick legs nestled closely against hers. His arm was holding her across her waist, his hand curving over her stomach. He was so tall, he could rest his chin on top of her head, so his breathing didn’t bother her in the least. She laid there, completely rigid and tense, strung so tight she could barely breathe.

Then the voice that haunted her dreams vibrated through her own chest as he spoke in a low and intimate tone.

“Relax Rey.”

The words made her instantly rebellious, and anger surged at his arrogance, until he continued his sentence.

“We are only trying to survive. I have already tried to assure you that I’m not after revenge, and I will not harm you in any way, if I can help it. Just relax and go to sleep. I will keep you warm and safe.”

Those words were spoken with such tenderness that it made tears prick at the back of her eyes.  
She quickly closed them, anxious not to be affected by neither the words themselves, nor the tone they were spoken in. But it did not take away the proof. She was lying in his arms, cradled in his sure embrace and she felt safe. And warmer than she had in a long while.  
And soon, she drifted off into that peaceful slumber once more.

  
When morning came, it came unnoticed.  
The cave was still closed off from the rest of the world. The wind could still be heard, howling away outside. Letting them know the blizzard was still there, threatening to hostage them for much longer.

Rey woke first.  
She was still inside Ben’s embrace, but sometime during the night, they had turned towards each other. She was now cradled to his chest, with both arms wrapped around her tightly, securing her to him. His breath was softly tickling her hair, his legs entwined with hers and she was completely dumbstruck at how right it felt. How safe and cherished she felt.

It would not do.

She needed to get away from him as soon as possible. She needed to put some distance between them. This was dangerous on some indescribable, instinctive level.  
She had shared things with him she had never shared with anyone. They were connected by the Force, even now. It made her vulnerable and she knew it would only lead to pain and suffering.

_And still…_

She couldn’t move away. She couldn’t extract herself from his embrace. If anything, she felt the need to burrow in closer grow stronger with every passing second. She could not remember when she had ever been this close to another human being before, but the sensation was addictive. She was enveloped by his scent, something dark and warm and slightly musky, and it did something inexplicable to her insides. The heat coming from his body was enough to melt through her defenses, making her feel relaxed and languid.

So, instead of following her head, she ended up following her most base instincts.  
She snuggled in a little closer, pressing herself to him as much as she could. If he noticed, she could argue she was cold, right?  
She was just about to close her eyes again when she heard his deep voice rumble in his chest.

“Goodmorning Rey.”

The way his voice vibrated through her and what it did to her was downright sinful. It was too strong a reaction, and she couldn’t help but respond in the only way she knew how.

“Goodmorning Ben.” She said stiffly. “Would you mind? I need to get up.”

Much to her surprise – the past twenty-four hours had been full of surprises – he chuckled and lifted himself on his elbow. He looked down at her and there was a soft light to his gaze, one she had not seen in ages.

“Was sleeping with me so bad that you can’t wait to run from my arms come first light?”

There was such a teasing note to his voice, such implications in his choice of words, that it actually made her blush. She didn’t know how to respond, so she just glared at him.  
“Oh, come now, Rey. I’m sure you know the difference between amicable banter and malicious slander?” He said and he did something she hadn’t seen before.

He _smiled_.

It transformed his entire face, from intriguing to downright breathtakingly handsome. When he smiled, he looked like the perfect mixture of his parents. He resembled his father so strikingly it almost hurt, but Leia’s coloring and regal grace shone through, giving him a unique distinction.

“I do.” She stammered. “I simply never expected it coming from you.”

The light in his eyes dimmed a little, but it didn’t leave completely.

“I can’t blame you for that. I never gave you any indication that I had a sense of humor.”

“Do you?” she asked, looking up at him questioningly.”

He smiled differently this time. Timid, gentle and almost sad.

“I used to.” He said as he lowered his eyes, avoiding her gaze. “But that was a long time ago, and much has happened.” 

He looked at her again, and she felt his regrets weaving their way into her subconscious, the Bond linking them without even trying. He absently tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ears and his thumb caressed her cheekbone and the simple gesture took Rey’s breath away.

“You make me…” he started, but his voice died off slowly, and his gaze became hooded.

Instinct dictated her next move. She covered his hand on her cheek with her own.

“I make you what?” she murmured softly.

A stubborn tilt to his chin, his jaw locked and she could feel him hiding behind those walls he had built again.

“Nothing.”

“It’s not nothing Ben. Tell me.”

He started to get up but Rey wouldn’t have silence for an answer. Taking advantage of the situation, she caught him by surprise by pushing against his shoulder. He lost his balance and fell to his back, the perfect time for Rey to capture his hands beside his head and straddle him.

The astonishment in his eyes would have been funny if she hadn’t realized in that very second that she had made a monumental mistake.

Because she could feel his excitement pressed against her very core. And it made her own blood pump through her veins like liquid fire. Every instinct she possessed told her to kiss him, to grind her hips against his and find out just how close they could get.

She looked down at Ben and saw his own shock reflecting in that dark gaze. She could feel his reaction was very similar to hers. His breathing was a little uneven, and her eyes grew wide when she felt his manhood twitch involuntarily against her.

She swallowed hard before she spoke. When she did, her voice was hoarse and husky.

“I make you what?”

Ben was practically panting beneath her, looking up at her with an almost tortured gaze. She narrowed her gaze and whispered through clenched teeth.

“I make you what?”

She watched as he pursed his lips. A telltale biting on the inside of his mouth, making those luscious lips move in tantalizing ways, making a girl imagine about how it would feel if they touched her own.  
A stubborn gleam entered his eyes, and she knew she had won.

“You make me want things I can never have.”

Rey lifted a single eyebrow in question.

“Oh really? You’re the Supreme Leader now, aren’t you? I can’t imagine what you would want that you couldn’t have…” her voice trailed off and a question lingered in her eyes and on her lips.  
It slithered its way across their Bond.

_What do you want then?_

Ben looked at her and she could feel his apprehension.

“You.” He said in a single low syllable.

Shock burst through her at the single word, and Ben took advantage of it.  
He turned her unto her back, leaning over her on his forearms. He was still settled between her thighs, his erection pressing into her, his chest brushing hers. His face hovered mere inches above hers, his breath mingling with her own. Rey raised her knees instinctively and it resulted in her cradling his hips even closer.

“You are playing a very dangerous game now, Rey.” He whispered.

“Am I now?” she said with a tilt of her head. Her eyebrows lifted. Her breath came out in small bursts.  
Ben smiled slowly and it made her heart pound against her ribcage so hard, she was sure he could hear it.

“I would have given you everything if you had stayed with me.” He muttered beneath his breath, his regret tangible in every word as his fingertips caressed her cheek in a featherlight touch.  
And it was seeing his pain and sorrow from this close that made her crack just a little.

“I never wanted to rule the galaxy.” She whispered.

_Just you._

The confession spilled into their Bond, almost as if the Force itself coerced her to. The surprise made him straighten up a little. His eyes searched hers frantically, but she just met his gaze with a steady one of her own. When he saw nothing but the truth in hers, he frowned.

“I thought we were on the same side, Ben.” She whispered. “I thought we had surpassed it all when we had fought side by side. I thought you would be able to move past it all and come back to us.”

Tears filled her eyes as she felt the same heartache burn through her as she relived that fatal moment. She closed them and allowed them to spill down her cheeks.

“When you started your little speech on how let it all die, I could feel my hope die instead. That Bond between us, the one I cherished so much, the one I had trusted so blindly, had failed me. You hadn’t come back to us. To me. And I realized you probably never would. So I reached for the lightsaber because I couldn’t leave it.”

She opened her eyes again but couldn’t look at him. Not yet.

“When I woke up afterwards, I was frantic. I thought you had died. When I discovered you weren’t, that you were unharmed, I wept with relief.” She looked up at him then. “But I couldn’t stay with you. Not like that. Walking away from you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life.”

“Would you do things differently now? If you could go back?” his deep voice rumbled through her, his tone barely above a whisper. She stared into his eyes as she gave him her response.

“Would you?”

They stared at each other for a long time before either of them answered. When they did, it was oddly simultaneously.

“Yes”.

Rey cupped his cheek and slid her hands through his hair. It was even softer than she had imagined it to be. Ben leaned down and brushed her lips tentatively. When her eyes fluttered closed and a soft sigh escaped her, a shudder of relief wrecked through him. He deepened the kiss and they both shivered with emotion.

They kissed for the longest of times, their mouths exploring and learning everything there was to know about the other. They kissed until they could do nothing but come up for air or be consumed with madness. As they caught their breath, sanity seemed to reclaim them somewhat.

“We can’t do this.” Ben murmured

He looked deliciously disheveled. His hair was a glossy mess from running her fingers through them repeatedly. His lips were swollen, his cheeks were tainted a deep red and his eyes shone with desire and happiness.

“What do you mean ‘We can’t do this’?” she countered instantly, her voice rough and coarse.  
His gaze met hers and she saw the sincerity in his eyes.

“I mean,” he said a little sterner, “that when I make you mine, it sure as hell won’t be on the dirty floor of an old cave on an damned ice planet. I intend to make love to you on a soft bed, covered in delicate satin sheets, with a fireplace blazing and the moon shining down on us. Somewhere that has a moderate climate, with lots of green. Naboo perhaps.” He sounded wistful. His hand tucked away a strand of hair behind her ear as he recounted his vision of their first  time together.

“My, someone has apparently given it some thought…” she said teasingly, causing him to look up at her with surprise and a fair share of embarrassment.

“It may have crossed my mind a time or two.” He ducked his head and unwittingly revealed the tips of his ridiculously large ears. They were tinted pink. Her heart squeezed a little at the sight, endearing as it was.

“You’re right, I’m afraid.” She said with a deep sigh. As much as I couldn’t care less about the circumstances, now might not be the time to give in to carnal pleasures.”

Ben got up on his knees and looked down on her with a frown.

“Carnal pleasures?” He asked, affronted by her choice of words. “Is that all it is to you?”

She sat up a little too, hating the rush of cold air that had chilled her frame as he had removed his body – and its heat. She chuckled. It only angered him more.

“Oh please Ben. What would you have me call it?” She laughed as she spoke, the sound tinkling like a spring, bubbling like a waterfall. When she noticed his lack of amusement, she frowned. And she realized that it was important to him. She felt instinctively that he valued the phrasing.  
She smiled a little wanly.

“I’m a scavenger from a planet that is considered the garbage heap of the galaxy. What little I know of mating is what I saw there. And as far as that knowledge goes, there are only two options. Either it’s against one’s will, which results in humiliation, pain and shame, or it’s contentious and it’s about giving in to a body’s need for reproduction or release. From what I witnessed, there was nothing that even hinted at anything as intimate as those kisses we just shared. So you’ll just have to accept my phrasing until I have a different one for it.”

Rey watched as Ben frowned and mulled it over, but he nodded curtly. And just like that, silence descended over them again.

They worked together to tidy up their mess, got their rations prepared for breakfast and built a fire.  
They stayed out of each other’s way, a silent agreement between them, unspoken words and promises to keep away from one another as long as they were stuck in that cave.

They spoke a little, when the silence got too much for them to handle. Nothing too heavy or serious. Just little things about their past, memories they had, sometimes – rare but still – they spoke of their hopes and dreams of the future. Ben told her about how Han and Leia had shared their first kiss here and how attached they were to this odd planet.

They ate, drank and sat together in a strange sort of companionship. They took care of the taun-taun. They did not speak of their heated kisses, nor of how close they had come to throw caution to the wind. They both knew they would have to talk about it one day, but now was not the time.

At night, they laid down together in front of the fire, conserving as much body heat as they could. But except for a small goodnight brushing of their lips, their was no more kissing. And neither of them was sure whether that was a good or a bad thing.

They automatically fell into a routine of sorts and they were both very surprised at how well they seemed to work together. How right it felt to be near each other again.

Rey struggled with that. She had hated him, then had grown to care for him – deeply! – and then reverted back to resenting him with every fiber of her being. And now that was changing again.  
She got the distinct impression that he had indeed changed, as he had claimed.

He was less angry. Less aggressive. Less agitated. He seemed a lot more composed now. Unlike her.  
Rey felt she was growing more and more unstable. She had grown up in the vast desert of Jakku. Had been living out in the open since forever. Had been able to go wherever she pleased. But now she was cooped up in a small cave on an ice planet and she had nowhere to go. To be confined like this… Only his nearness reassured her that she wasn’t losing her mind.

After three days, they were rescued.

Poe and Finn had led the rescue mission personally. They had been quite shocked to find her trapped with Kylo Ren. They immediately tried to seize him, but they were frozen in place with a Force Hold.

Ben turned to Rey and sighed deeply.

“This is goodbye for now.” He said sadly.

She smiled up at him brilliantly, her smile a beacon in the snow.

“For now, yes.” She said softly. She cupped his cheek and kissed it. “I will see you later. And I’ll be sure to tell General Organa about your desire to discuss a possible peace treaty.”

He narrowed his eyes at her but could not fight the smile that was starting to make his mouth twitch.

“Please do, and send her my regards. And I will contact you tonight.”

Rey smiled again and nodded. They stared at each other for a moment longer, before Ben turned around and headed towards his shuttle that was parked a little further.

“Could you please release my friends from your Force Hold?” She shouted after him and he looked back. He released them, almost as an afterthought.

When he got on the shuttle and had started to prime it for take-off, he looked at them once more and then gave them a brief salute before he left.

“What the Hell was that all about?” Poe blurted as soon as the shuttle was nothing more but a black dot in the sky.

“Yeah, Rey, you sure have quite the explanation to give.” Finn added his two bits to the conversation.

Rey mounted the taun-taun and looked down at the men who stood in the falling snow.

“I will explain it all when we get back to the base and _after_ I have spoken with Leia. But I believe we’ve come a long way. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to get back to the base as soon as possible. I’ve seen enough of this planet to last me a lifetime.”

Together they rode off, back to the base. She met with Leia and spoke to her in private about her days of shared confinement with Kylo Ren, or Ben as Rey still called him.

They discussed the possibility of a peace treaty and decided on a course of action. They called in meetings and discarded the original mission of finding the artifact. Instead, they set course to Naboo, where Rey assured them she would be able to arrange a meeting with the Supreme Leader himself to start the negotiations.

And as they were on their way, flying off into space on board of the Millenium Falcon, Rey felt excitement course through her veins.

Peace was within their grasp and her future seemed brighter than ever, especially with the promise of sharing it with a sullen, broody, scarred man who had the most beautiful smile she had ever seen.  
The prospect of sharing a life with him would be a dream come true. And it would remain everything she’d ever dreamed of, for she already knew she had found her belonging with him and always would, even long after the blazing fires died…  


**Author's Note:**

> Well... 
> 
> What did you think?  
> I hope I ticked off all the boxes of the wanted-list... 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it!  
> If you did, please consider leaving kudos or a comment. I promise to reply to each and every one of them! 
> 
> X  
> B


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